Harvard’s Behaviour Expert: The Psychology Of Why People Don't Like You!

People really care about what's making them disliked and they really wanna know how to be liked. Okay, so first, this is an exercise that I do in my class at Harvard called Ten Questions to Fall and Like. So find some of those questions they're gonna like me. It's a great starting point. But let's talk about this. Because there are gonna be little clues about how to be better liked, and it's the most teachable. practical, scientifically rigorous framework in the world for communication. Do you want to hear about it, Steven? I want to be the most persuasive, influential, likable talker in the world. So I shall follow your lead. Oh my gosh. I love it. I love it so much. Harvard professor Alison Woodbrooks is a behavioral scientist who has spent two decades studying conversational science. And she's revealing the communication mistakes we all make. The art of negotiation and how to get anyone to like you.

We all get to adulthood and we feel like conversation should be easy, but as a scientist, when you look under the hood, you realize this is why we have so many awkward moments, why we say things that we shouldn't, why we are boring, why we get angry and hostile, and there's very clear strategies to help us with all of that. Like one of my biggest findings was how we reframe social anxiety as excitement, which Which makes you focus on opportunities rather than threats. And that paper ended up being featured in Inside Out, the movie. And then there's small talk. I hate small talk. I'm gonna help you reframe that because it's really important, but the mistake that people make is that we save it way too long and they need to move up this topic pyramid. What about in a digital age, do we need to start communicating differently? Yeah, there's clear things that we should. And you said you'd done an interesting study recently about male friendship. Yes. And it's Quite troubling.

So how can I make more friends as a man? Yeah, let's talk about that. Just give me thirty seconds of your time. Two things I wanted to say. The first thing is a huge thank you for listening and tuning into the show week after week. It means the world to all of us, and this really is a dream that we absolutely never had and couldn't have imagined getting to this place. But secondly, it's a dream where we feel like we're only just getting started.

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