How to build deeper, more robust relationships | Carole Robin (Stanford GSB professor, “Touchy Feely”)
Transcribed with NVIDIA Parakeet · Timestamps stay in sync with the live audio
Many people told you your class at Stanford made them feel like their entire college tuition was worth it. Even more rewarding for me are the I'm pretty sure your class just saved my marriage. I want to talk about how to give feedback well. I feel that you don't care and I feel you're being insensitive are not feelings, and that's where we make our biggest mistakes when it comes to feedback. How do you avoid people getting defensive? What, when, where, how. Stay away from why. I think it might be helpful to talk about this concept that you call the three realities. We don't understand that we are only privy to two out of the three. So I know what's going on for me and I know what I did. I have no idea what happened on your end. That's a really profound point that anger is a secondary emotion. Really what's going on is you're afraid or you're hurt. What a disservice to not help people understand that anger is a distancing emotion, and there are other emotions that are connecting.
Today my guest is Carol Robin. For over twenty years, Carol taught the legendary course at Stanford's Graduate School of Business. Nicknamed Touchy Feely. Technically called interpersonal dynamics. Which helps people learn how to build strong relationships.
And become much more effective leaders. She then went on to start a non profit called Leaders in Tech. which brings these same lessons to leaders of high tech growth companies, and she also wrote an incredibly impactful book. Called Connect. Which distills all the key insights and lessons from her decades running this course.
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