Likeability Expert: Stop Doing This, It’s Why People Quietly Avoid You! | Vanessa Van Edwards

How do you know you talk too much? So first thing is nonverbal cues. Someone is checking out, if they are opening their mouth, is if to say something, like call it the open fish. And that's a subtle cue that you talk too much. Do you think they're listening right now and think, fuck, that's me. Yes. And there was a recent study where they found that 95% of people have worked with someone who talks too much. Well, I have a do you talk too much test. So there's five questions here, and if you answer more than three times, you're probably an over talker. Yeah. Cause my next question is like, which one's worse? Over talking or under talking? I have spent the last 20 years studying master conversationalists. And I found that it's the vehicle to get what you want. And I'm a recovering awkward person, and I really struggled with bad conversation for a long time. But I think the next generations will be talking to technology more than they talk to humans. And because we're having less conversations, one in six people worldwide are affected by loneliness. More than ever I'm sending nine-minute voice notes to my friends. But a voice note, it's the most selfish form of conversation. But in this age of technological change, the people who are masterful at conversation are going to have an advantage. But there's a blueprint good conversation. And once you know the blueprint, it becomes easier. For example, we devised three different speed networking experiments with five.

And the best conversation starter was actually what was the highlight of your day. Because the moment we ask how are you, what do you do, they ran out of things to talk about. But the worst question in the history of conversations is But I also have a formula to immediately bypass that small top. Also a secret door into charisma. But also there are five archetypes. And this is gonna impact getting our promotion and finding your soulmate. We're gonna go through one of them, but what are the ways to get out of the bad conversation about offending people? Well, we tend to focus a lot on the first impression, but we don't really think about the end, but it's all really important. And I discovered this framework, so Guys, I've got a favor to ask before this episode begins. The algorithm, if you follow a show, will deliver you the best episodes from that show very prominently in your feed. So when we have our best episodes on this show The most shared episodes, the most rated episodes. I would love you to know. And a simple way for you to know that is to hit that follow button. But also it's the simple

easy free thing that you can do to help us make this show better. And I would be hugely grateful if you could take a minute on the app you're listening to this one right now and hit that follow button. Thank you so, so so much. Uh Vanessa Van Edwards. On page five of your new book, Conversations, you talk about how We're in a

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