The Secret to Better Conversations Isn't Talking | A Bit of Optimism: Feelings at Work | PART 2
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The thing that I try to remind myself of of my version of listening with curiosity is am I listening to understand? Same same. Same thing of like Am I listening so that I can find my points to prove why they're wrong and why I'm right? Or am I listening because I genuinely w want to understand where they're coming from? Let's say that slower and let's say that let's let's because that is a really important point. Okay. Which is that am I listening to understand? So that I can make my points and be right and make them wrong. Yeah. Or prove that they're wrong. Or I'm listening to understand what was the second part? Or am I listening to understand to genuinely hear where they're coming from? Genuinely he's coming from. And I think that's a very important distinction, which is not listening to understand the argument. Yeah. You're listening to understand the person. Have you ever felt frustrated? Angry, dismissed, or misunderstood.
by someone you're talking to. You're trying to tell them how you feel, or you're trying to give them some feedback or resolve some tension or conflict, and they keep interrupting you or acting like they understand when they don't. Worse, when you point out that they aren't listening to you. They parrot what you said back to you as proof that they are. What you're experiencing is talking to someone who doesn't know how to listen. Here's the bad news.
That's most of us. It's true. Most of us are bad listeners. But here's the irony. For a conversation to go better, it actually only requires a minimum of one person in that conversation to know how to listen.
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