Reframing the Battle of Wills

This is Hidden Brain, I'm Shankar Vedantham. Have you ever been frustrated with someone who never seems to change their behavior? You remind your partner, again, not to leave dirty dishes in the sink. You've had this conversation before. Maybe you snap at them, maybe you roll your eyes and do it yourself, or maybe you get frustrated and throw up your hands.

Or maybe it's your child who melts down in the middle of the grocery store or a coworker who fails to meet deadlines in spite of endless reminders. No matter how many times we bring it up or how many strategies we try, nothing gets them to change. Before long, resentment sets in. The temptation is to push harder.

More reminders, more rules, more consequences. We tell ourselves they must be stubborn, defiant, oppositional, This week on Hidden Brain, research that explains why the techniques we use to get people to change their behavior are often strikingly ineffective. And we look at better ways to help the people we care about make lasting change. It can be frustrating when people do things we don't want them to.

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