World Expert on Fatherhood & Love: The Truth About Monogamy, Breakups & The Science of Love! Dr. Anna Machin

We are not a monogamous species. It's a social construct. And I get attacked for saying things like this, but sexual monogamy, from an evolution point of view, is not a good idea. That's why we have a reasonably high rate of people who have extra marital affairs. So do you think we're all somewhat pretending to be monogamous? Who do you think struggles with it, more men or women? And you said that there's not a difference in well-being and satisfaction between polyamic. Absolutely not. How do you know this? Because we've done studies on it, and I've committed the last two decades of my life to understand the neuroscience of love. Doctor Anna Machin is the Oxford trained evolutionary anthropologist. Using science to decode attraction. Attachment styles. Love addiction. Now the crucial roles of the father. So here's the thing. When we look for a partner, we don't know we're doing it. And it involves two very distinct areas of the brain. So it was the unconscious stage. That's where you take in loads of sensory information about them. So for example, if you're a woman, you can smell genetic compatibility. Wait, so Men can't smell women, but women can smell. Well you can smell them, but it's not gonna give you any information about genetic compatibility. So your brain is gonna help you assess whether they're any good for you. If you get a good ping, certain chemicals at the very core of the brain take away the fear and gives you motivation. Now, human love is so complicated. So for example, the chemistry that underpins love is also involved in neurodiversity. So if I have ADHD or autism, how am I more likely to struggle in love? This is really really important.

First of all. Doctor Machen. Why are you talking about fatherhood? The way our culture treats fathers is wrong. The myths we carry about fathers are wrong. Men have a very specific role in child development, and I wasn't expecting to find this when I first started, but it's fundamental for a child to thrive and survive and be successful. So what we're finding is Quick one before we get back to this episode. Just give me thirty seconds of your time. Two things I wanted to say. The first thing is a huge thank you for listening and tuning into the show week after week. It means the world to all of us, and this really is a dream that we absolutely never had and couldn't have imagined getting to this place.

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