It Begins With You: Jillian Turecki On Why Dating Is Broken, Self-Awareness Is Everything, & What Actually Makes Love Last

What is the most important thing that people need to know about relationships or starting a relationship? There's two things: who you choose and who you decide to show up as. That's it. If you want life partnership, if you want a relationship, if you want to potentially live with this person, that choice is so important.

They are going to impact your nervous system, your sleep, your choices, your worldview, your beliefs. Yes, we enter relationships as autonomous, sovereign beings, but there's like a blending, there's a yoking that happens. There's a yoga that happens between two people. And so it's very important that you make that choice wisely and the only way you can make that choice wisely is by understanding yourself.

There's this great saying in AA, which is, if you don't think you have any character defects, get into a relationship. And what that means to me is that Intimacy is hard. It demands self-awareness and a level of vulnerability that can be, quite frankly, uncomfortable. It reveals our wounds, it forces us to confront our fears, it brings out the best of us, but it also surfaces our flaws.

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