How Love Dies: The Psychology of Cheating & Attraction - Esther Perel - #986

Oddly, our attachment systems lie to us. They lie to us. And uh this was put to me earlier this year as red flags don't look red if you're wearing rose-colored glasses. And I think that's what the early stages of a relationship are. The early stages of a relationship are rose-colored glasses, and a lot of the time it means that you don't see red flags.

Yeah. I mean Definitely the early stage is a stage of idealization. You project onto the person, you feel so good about yourself in their presence. They make you feel smart, beautiful, irreplaceable, unique.

And you kind of get hooked to that feeling. You know, I used to feel so good in your presence. Why now do I don't don't I? Why has it changed? Um some people partner with someone and all they think to themselves, consciously or not, is please don't ever change.

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