E200: Annie Macmanus: The Real Reason I Became Europe's No. 1 Female DJ

I fiercely wanted to prove that I could do it all, but I realised quite quickly that doing it all wasn't always cracked up to me. Animate. A superstar DJ who's been forging her own cult status for nearly 20 years. I was a teenager in the nineties. Harry and Sheik, Kate Moss. It was very hard not to become consumed by what the magazines and the music videos are kinda showing you. Obsessed with how much you weigh and what you're eating and all of that.

I really wanted to get out. I loved music. I love talking to people, I love connecting with people. What happens when you put music and connection together? Radio. Welcome to BBC Radio One. I was not ambitious. I wanted to get bigger. I wanted to try everything. I felt like I wanted to prove a point. There was a lot of pressure being female in what was essentially a man's world. It's a horrible feeling, isn't it, when you don't feel like you can do anything good enough. It became this kind of feeling of the walls closing in. I should be more grateful for the fact that I'm getting sent

brilliant music every week and I get to play this on the radio, but I don't feel excited enough for what this is. I felt like I didn't want to be needed by so many people anymore. Get yourself together, Annie. Come on. Jesus Christ is your last link, Cog Madium one. It takes time to feel at peace with yourself to just walk away. For people that are stood there looking into uncertainty, can you tell them about how you felt in the lead up to that decision? Was there fear?

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