Understanding the Psychology of Perfectionism - Dr Paul Hewitt - #1025
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give me a uh better than most people probably already have working definition of perfectionism. Well, first off, uh perfectionism is kind of a deeply ingrained personality style that people use to kind of navigate their path through life. So we talk about it as a way of being in the world and um it It's kind of the sense that at the core I'm not enough, that there's something that is flawed, defective, I'm not, I'm just not enough either to have worth or to be acceptable to other people, to fit, to belong, to have a place in the world. And so it's um it's a way of trying to navigate that.
because when we have that sense of being flawed and defective where I don't fit, we don't just typically say, okay, that's the way it is. We try to do something about it. We try to rectify it. One of the ways that a person can do that, and they learn this often very early in life, is that if If I am perfect or if I can appear to others as perfect, then I will be acceptable to them.
I will be loved, I will be uh cared for, uh, I will belong, I will matter to other people, and by virtue of that, I will have worth. It will repair this sense of being flawed and defective at the core. So what it is is this sort of way of navigating the world of trying to conceal imperfections, trying uh, yes, to be perfect in um in in tasks and activities in that, but really it's more of a drive not to be imperfect. So it's kind of what that's kind of the way we understand. So the this typical sort of upbringing of somebody that grows up to be a perfectionist uh is love contingent on performance?
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