#62 Dr. Sue Johnson: Cracking the Code of Love

The way people dial with problems. The way people protect themselves or their relationship from problems Backfires and becomes a prison. Hello and welcome, I'm Shane Parrish and this is The Knowledge Project, a podcast exploring the ideas, methods, and mental models that help you master the best of what other people have already figured out. To learn more, find show notes, or stay up to date on new episodes, go to fs.blog slash podcast.

Fernham Street puts together a weekly newsletter that I think you'll love. It's called Brain Food and it comes out every Sunday. Much like this podcast, it's high signal, timeless, and mind expanding. Read what you're missing at fs.blog Slash newsletter. Today I'm speaking with Sue Johnson, a clinical psychologist and the developer of emotionally focused couples therapy. She's widely regarded as one of the best, if not the best, couples therapist in North America. Sue is the author of Hold Me Tight, which is hands down the best relationship book I've ever read. She followed that up with Love Science, which is also worth reading. And I I must say when my friends found out I was gonna interview Sue, I was flooded with emails and questions for her. Everyone was interested in talking about relationships, which was a bit unexpected for me.

Before the interview, I was thinking about how I was gonna structure the interview to fit all of these questions in, and while I couldn't ask everything I wanted to, the conversation is structured around the arc of a relationship from first dating and new love all the way to retirement. We talk everything in between. So we talk kids, affairs, warning signs that your relationship is in trouble, and even when to call it quit. I want to preface this conversation with the fact that this is not relationship advice for you specifically, and will sue as a professional, and I am clearly not. uh you should seek advice from someone more close to the situation, with context and specifics to you as an individual and you as a couple. This conversation will be hard for many of you, and I'm sure there's aspects of your relationship you're gonna pick up on and say, See, I told you.

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