Contracts of Love & Money That Make or Break Relationships | James Sexton

Welcome to the Huberman Lab Podcast, where we discuss science and science-based tools for everyday life. I'm Andrew Huberman and I'm a professor of neurobiology and ophthalmology at Stanford School of Medicine. My guest today is James Sexton. James Sexton is a renowned attorney with over 25 years of experience in family law, specializing in prenuptial agreements and divorces. He is known as what many call the voice of reason between love and legal.

Today we discussed something that might seem counterintuitive, which is how the legal frameworks and contracts surrounding relationships, particularly prenuptial agreements, can actually deepen emotional connection and build trust between partners. As James points out, intimacy and trust are fundamentally about the ability to be your true self with your partner and them with you. It's about allowing ourselves to be vulnerable. It's also about having a same-team spirit, of course, respect for one another, and admiration for each other's unique qualities. Today we explore how prenuptial agreements, which most often are viewed as being unromantic or pessimistic, can actually serve as ways to establish a sense of safety for both people and prevent many common conflicts and misunderstandings.

As James puts it, Everyone has a prenup. You either have one that was created by the state legislature, or you can tailor one to you and your partner's unique needs. He also points out something that many people will find surprising, which is that the vast majority of people who do prenups stay married, and yet most people opt not to do them. We also discuss love itself and the key questions that we all need to ask to find the right partner and if you have one, to build the strongest possible bonds with them.

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