1187: Knowing When to Speak Up versus Shut Up with Vanessa Bohns

Part of why giving feedback is so hard, like honest feedback, is that we are genuinely kind and we want to be kind people. And we feel like that kind of feedback is not kind. But the kind of feedback that is kind. Is What helps people improve. We found that by giving someone heads up.

So that they already know what you're asking makes them feel like they had time to process, so they're not put on the spot. That's Vanessa Bonds. She's a social psychologist and award-winning professor of organizational behavior at Cornell University, whose research in the science of social influence has helped countless people navigate difficult and complex relationships and situations. Her new book, Should I Say Something? The science of what to share and what to keep to yourself helps professionals navigate this tricky decision with grace and wisdom. So you'll learn one, how to be honest without being harsh. Two, the hidden trade off between vulnerability and competence. And three, When it does hurt to ask.

And if you want a quick summary right about the actual wisdom that Vanessa shares, I recommend you drop on byawatyourjob.com. And sign up for the free gold nugget email. list. I'm Peepitus. This is how to be awesome at your job. And now, here's Vanessa.

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